About

Somewhere between going to bed after the bar a 'slightly inebriated' twenty-year-old, and waking up a confused mother of two at thirty(ish), my marbles were oddly misplaced.

In fact...

The last thing I remember was having my whole life ahead of me and a head full of ridiculous dreams. Yet 10+ years later, here I am in a (constantly) messy house I don't recognize, with two very small, very dirty people-like creatures calling me "Mom"... and there is not a hint of the life I once imagined anywhere to be in sight.

So... I have done what any slightly unbalanced thirty(ish)-year-old would do given the curious circumstances; I chalked it up to insanity and made the best of a completely crazy situation and hanging on to the hope that no one would find out that I have no idea what the hell I am doing!

I now live a mommy(ish) lifestyle. I have two kids, an older boy (C) and a younger girl (L), and a medium sized dog (M). Yeah, yeah the American dream, right? No, not so much... For starters I live in Canada and this is not exactly the dream life I had in mind.

Still, despite the fact that I was never been a big fan of kids (who am I kidding, I'm still not a big fan of kids) I wouldn't trade it for the world, majorly dysfunctional days and all.

What You Need To Know About My Family:

We live in a small-ish city just north of Toronto, Ontario Canada. It is hot in the summer and cold in the winter. No, we don't live in igloos and there is a city by-law against having penguins as pets.

I currently attend school (I am studying Psychology in the hopes that maybe I can use it to understand some of the things these children are thinking, or in the very least curb my own insanity... Regardless, if I can finish the 5+ years, I can make a fortune off family and friends alone... So there is potential there.) I also work (very) casually on the side to try to make ends meet because I am a shopaholic of sorts, which takes being frugal to a whole new level entirely. This basically means that I have found a million ways to kick-up Kraft Dinner, have become addicted to thrift stores, and have ordered my children to stop growing immediately so I don't have to buy new clothes or shoes for awhile.

My son (C) is addicted to anything computer related and no, I do not limit his computer time to 5 hours per week (Heck there are days when he is online more than 5 hours). He is currently 10 years old (2013) and I am just happy that he is at home rather than outside causing trouble or terrorizing the neighbors like some of the other more questionable kids his age... He is a good boy for the most part and he is smart as a whip.. (Heck he seems to know more than I do about most things, especially when it comes to computers) He is sensitive and caring (sometimes a little too sensitive), and he will make some lucky girl very happy in the future. My darling son is a bit of a 'geek' though and will never be a sports star of any kind when he grows up... He is more likely to be "that guy you know who fixes computers" or the next Bill Gates, and whatever he grows up to be is fine with me as long as he is happy and healthy.

Now my daughter (L) turned 3 in March (2013) and she is a handful. She believes with all her heart that she is a princess. Cinderella, Ariel and Sleeping Beauty are her best friends, she loves fairies and has watched every Tinkerbell movie ever made more than a hundred times, and she is a self-proclaimed ballerina. She is also a super b***h! She is bossy, saucy and manipulative. She throws titanic sized temper tantrums that in themselves would sink a ship, and she believes the world should revolve around her and NO ONE ELSE. She is beautiful, smart and very independent and I absolutely adore her, but she runs me ragged and drives me completely insane. She has her father (and any other man she meets) wrapped around her little finger and I am almost sure that this is a glimpse into the future.. But, with the 'take no crap' attitude she already has at this young age, I am not too worried. She is a headstrong little girl that refuses to sleep in her own bed, put up the fight of her life when it came time to potty train her and spends most of her days dressed like a princess as we rush through Walmart or the grocery store with fingers crossed praying to make it out without a major meltdown.

(Oh yes, I am one of those mothers! Which BTW is something I swore I would never be...)

I am a bit of an unconventional parent, in the fact that my daily motto is; if they are alive at the end of the day, they are fed and we have a roof over our head the day has been successful. If I have managed to shower and clean the house in the process, it is cause for celebration (and by celebration I mean eating chocolate while I hide in the closet so I don't have to share). I have discovered people find it strange that I believe if left to their own devices, children will usually make the right choices, and turn out perfectly fine...

Well, it is more laziness than an actual belief, but lets be honest here... I am no June Cleaver, not even close... Actually, an award of any kind is probably a lost cause at this point and I choose not to think about it at all.

What You Need To Know About Me:

Now that you know about my minions, I guess I should fill you in on the interesting quirks of my own personality and all those special things that make me, me. So here is what you need to know I suppose...

I turned 30 (awhile back) and I managed to accomplish this without the major meltdown some of my more sensitive friends suffered. Seriously, your 30's is probably something that people should warn you about.. I mean everybody talks about the drama of your twenties or the crisis of turning 40 and being "over the hill", but no one really talks about what it feels like to be 30 and for some people its a really big deal! Truthfully though, from my perspective I'll tell you what it really feels like.. NOTHING SPECIAL!

In fact, I still feel like I'm 19, unless I am hanging around a bunch of 19-year-old's, in which case I immediately realize that I am in fact NOT 19-years-old.

Aside from the age thing and the fact that at times I am probably the worlds most impractical 30(ish)-year-old (well, most impractical poor 30-year-old.. Let's face it, you can get away with that crap when you're rich like Beyonce or P Diddy.) I feel like I am handling the growing up thing rather well.

I will be honest with you. I have very few friends left in my life at this point. One thing I learned in the transition to motherhood is that you start to see who your true friends are and you start to cherish them more. I have watched a few my friends pass by, and others pass away. I have seen people struggle and some succeed. I have watched as marriage vows were made, and helped pick up the pieces when some later fell apart. I keep the good ones as close as I can, and I throw the bad ones out with the trash, cuz "Ain't No One Got Time For Dat!" 

The truth is that when you are in your 30's and trying to make friends (or even keep friends) there are two things you must constantly deal with: Going Out Places and Dealing With Other Peoples Children... and I am not good at either one!!

Most of my days are spent here at home, studying, working  and/or pretending to be a princess, fairy or ballerina.

I aim to keep my house clean but there is a mess fairy hidden around here somewhere, and the cleaning fairy headed for the hills years ago... I also try to find fun ways to save money where I can and gather great ideas that help me cut corners in just about everything I do.

I have crazy thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis, some are 'good crazy' and some... well, not so much... but I live and I learn and most importantly with all the mistakes I have made I can probably help others learn (a hell of a lot easier than I did).

So that is what my blog is all about, my thoughts, tips, advice, ideas and insanity all stored in one place...
If you are able to sort through the various levels of crazy, than you might be able to make some sense out of it all and quite possibly save yourself some trouble...

As for me...

Well, to be honest with you, I am writing simply in the hopes that I may find my marbles in the process.
The last time I saw them was under a couch cushion...
I know they must be here some place and I am determined to find them!!!


MLHM